Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
