32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Shame - the story of my life.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
