Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
