mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
