who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
