As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
