I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
