So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Your cock deserves a montage
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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