Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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