mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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