I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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