I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
