Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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