If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize
