Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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