idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
