Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
