I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Your tits are I can't wait for
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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