Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
