member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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