he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
