Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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