She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
