I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
