I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
