We won't sleep together?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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