i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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