He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
