I'm gonna have a badass scar
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
