your room smells of hookers.
And success
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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