i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
