Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
