too bad you live with your parents still
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
