I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You left your phone here
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