Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
