sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
