honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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