watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
