That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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