took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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