so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
