Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
