some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I just forgot I was standing up.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
