thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
nut hugger
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
