Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Couch. On fire.
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