pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
