Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
