all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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