Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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