Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
