I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
